A Soul and Two Heartbeats…

THE news of her entire existence…THE blessed authority of becoming, what only God is destined to become, in every scripture, of every religion…THE CREATOR…
 
Of all the roles she had been tactfully and so effortlessly playing…dear Daughter, cute little sister, conscientious wife, jovial friend, efficient employee…this one consciously felt exceptionally special…


She went for a light stroll in her garden…and for the first time, those cute little potted plants of her balcony inspired some deep-some thoughts within…

This flower oh-so-beautiful, containing within, another bud…The flower grooves in cool breeze, ablazes in hot sun, bathe in rains , hitherto keeping the bud within integral, unscathed, unharmed…
Bud grows and the beautiful flower becomes a plump mass of life…not one, but two…the outer layer ages while the inner one develops, nurtures and matures…follows on…the circle of life…

She had had a great nerve…the mind reader, future teller, ms. know-it-all and so on…yet this acknowledgement was more than all she had ever known, more conversant than she had ever been of anything….dwelled deeper into thoughts and she could feel the connect…

could smell two fragrances apart…of the flower and the bud…

could hear two sounds…two cries of joy...welcoming and being welcomed

could feel two touches…pampering and being pampered…

could see the beautiful dream…of holding and embracing the baby in her arms…

relishing and cherishing the dream… she went back to sleep…her world dancing to the tunes of happiness and infusing in the pounding of two heartbeats…of creation and being created…

With the Wind…

“Mooommm!!! I wanna go upstairs on the roof…look how many colorful kites guys are flying in the skies…I wanna join in”

“No beta! its stormy outside and wind is blowing with the dust, you’ll soil your hair as well…I’ve washed them today only with so much effort…”

“Aaaa…No No No…I wanna go…”

“Let her go dear, if she so insists, she’s only going upstairs, not to another country…”

“God! Like father like daughter, both adamant...huh…You don’t know what it takes to maintain such long hair…and then this girl always keeps them open, flowing on her face…Sweety! Don’t go upstairs otherwise the storm outside will take you with it, what will you do then? You’ll miss Mom no?

“Hey, don’t teach her illogical stuff! beta, you can go upstairs…No storm, however strong can take you with it”

“Yeee… Thanks Papa, I love you… :-)  Mummy…. :-P”

“Okay wait…let me tie your hair first then…”

She went upstairs, got lost in the striking sight of bright multicolored kites flying in the evening skies… so beautiful …so liberating…she took a step ahead and reached the railing of the roof…wooowww… 

 not liking the idea of keeping her hair tied in the stupid pony tail, she took the rubber band off..and yes! now it felt more awesome…more liberating…

 15^thAugust,The Independence Day round the corner, kite flying had become the favorite pastime of all the boys in her neighborhood…no one was interested in any other game…

She never understood…what’s the fun in first entangling your own kite string with some other kite and then trying to cut it? Nonsense!!!Kites are meant for flying, not for cutting…

but leave it…guys are stupid anyways…they find out reasons to shout like hooligans and term it funny in weirdest of ways…

Getting bored, she thought of playing a game, all by herself…counting the kites… One, Two, Three, Four…oh no…I’ve counted the blue one twice…start again…One, Two, Three… 

And then a very strong stormy wind wave blew by…with Loads of Dust…City Pollution Soot…Contaminated Filth…Toxicated Grunge!!!

Trying to keep the dust off her large beautiful eyes, she closed them…but in vain…some stingy specks had already managed to enter…

irritated, she rubbed her closed fists on her eyes, while tears strolled down…wetting her pretty pink cheeks…

Some more wind blew...the air made ghostly sounds to her ears…sShe got scared...the storm will take her away…swept to unknown directions…

Mom warned, she realized she’s stupid not to listen…

 

She cried more…out loud...but the wind won’t stop…

Feeling helpless, she started tapping her feet furiously and then the consciousness came…She’s still there…her feet struck firmly to the grounds of the roof of her home sweet home where her father permitted her to come n enjoy the liberated winds, with assurances… No storm, however strong could take her away with it…

Helplessness gone, she closed her hands round the railing with all her might...

She felt stronger, relieved…and finally victorious…

Wind stopped blowing and the rains arrived…skies got cleared off the kites…

She realized her hair was still dirty…she won’t bother Mom to get them washed this time… She’ll do it herself…

P.S. I would really love to believe there was no phrase which said…”Gone with the wind”…

P.P.S.  I strongly believe Sita never crossed the lakshman rekha…She must have just come a bit near the edge and Raavan was able to seize her hand!

Trickling Down...

Happy Women’s Day… Colleagues were greeting her cheerfully while she’s smarting in the brightest of her churidaar suits , complete with straightened hair-do done in haste the same morning . And then all those beautiful ladies were additionally adorned with red roses and Women’s Day cards. It felt good and special. Being a woman.

She immediately went to washroom to check if her looks match with the splendor of the amazing day with added festivity of Holi. All smiles in front of the grand mirror, and all convinced that the kajal line is fine, churidaar layers properly done and correct amount of hair falling correctly on shoulders, she came out…

But then, some whispers added with giggles blocked her animated stride…Coming from Guy’s washroom, it said, “Maal lag rahi hain yaar ladkiyan aaj saari, roz hona chahiye Women’s Day”…

Struck by lightning she stood there. Engrossed in a swirl of thoughts, she tried to identify what’s wrong? Those guys having the time of their lives, while enjoying bird watching? 

NO… Just that she thought Women’s Day was all about acknowledging and respecting the importance of existence of Woman complete with all her beauty…She thought, atleast today, she’ll be looked upon with respect and reverence…Atleast today guys will try to understand that We don’t wish to look beautiful to get all those unwanted stares and comments… Its just “WOMAN” to feel happy about getting dressed in all her finery, the same way its “MAN” to watch sports all the time…A simple compliment sounds good, but its NOT okay when we’re barraged by stares…There’s nothing cool about it…It makes us immensely uncomfortable at times…Guys, we sincerely acknowledge the fact that its not your problem if you get attracted to beauty, But please understand, We don’t have an attention-seeking-problem either… 

Applying the same age old “Ignorance is Bliss!” she returned to her desk, completed her days task and drove back home, happily convincing herself, that the day was a success, spent in celebration, with colors, with joy, with a feel good about her being, giving the cutest pink to her cheeks…safely ignoring the futility of it all, while tears of failure tricked down the cutest pink cheeks…

Prologue…

“Why Another Blog???” Mom asked over phone...As always, I hadn’t given a thought to it. Just felt like another-blog-ish and planned to do it. However, since she asked and I too have to have a good logical explanation for the need of another-one, I started with my favorite pastime…Pondering Over…

In midst of all the meditating, I re-read my intro’s last lines…”That's me...A childish dreamy soul, with an indefatigable pursuit of happiness...” I still am childish…Just that I’ve started “behaving” when I’m in my corporate heels…I used to safely ignore my surroundings earlier…

I still am that dreamy soul…Just that I’ve started weighing each dream carefully in the balance of realism. I never used to do that…

I love to believe that I’m still indefatigable…just that somehow I know, all of us are limited by circumstances…

And yes, I do have that same pursuit of happiness … No changes to that one… except that happiness now has a hazier meaning…It used to be as simple as doing-good-in-studies and getting rewarded for good behavior. 

Now, when I stare at the horizon, I no more believe that it’s a beautiful view of earth mating skies…I think about the vagueness of stupid dreams, of going far far far away trying to touch the beauty with your fingers…

 And so I’m done with justifications...Meanings have changed over time and so the blog…

Strived is my look, rather peeking, into some lives, quintessentially working, of-age (girls? Ladies?) Who’ve made me scratch my head and left me brooding over justification of those social rules… It’s not about uptown girls given in to their environs, it’s about those puzzled little creatures, struggling to find their niche and still religiously (abided by? torn between?) confusions of rights and wrongs, being urbane and being daughters-of-Indian-middle-class…(about “Stri” as defined in “ved”s)

P.S. Yes, I already know there won’t be any concrete rational explanations derived at the end… 

 It’s NOT about Me, My Life, My adventures or so to say…

NO, I’m not a pro-feminist…